Cookie Life

I was blog surfing and I just HAD to post. It seems I've run into some blogs where sisters are talking about polygyny and their experiences with it. 

Now Im all for polygyny, if I have the chance to come to terms with it, if I accept it in my own marriage on my own terms.

Whether I would actually enter into the situation, thats another story. I'd have to do some serious thinking about it.

But, if my husband went off, and got another wife, without telling me?

Forget it. Im not staying with him. At all. Forget the love, the duty to the kids, etc. If he does the one thing that is truly hateful, and that is being deceptive, then Im not staying. What? So the kids can learn how taking another wife without permission is acceptable? So they can learn that women can be treated that way and it be okay?

But what bothered me the most was to realize that some women in this situation are so deprived of love and affection that they would stay, just for the LITTLE BIT they would get from that man, if he happens to be in a good mood that day.

I guess I am truly blessed to have a decent self-image, one that isn't dependent on how I am treated by ANYONE. You can call me whatever you want, but I know that I am a decent, likable, human being who can take care of herself if need be. Of course I make mistakes, but that doesnt mean I AM a mistake. And if someone tells me so, I just dismiss them, because I know the truth.

I think many people go into marriage with idea that 'love' will entirely consume their life, and fuse husband and wife into one solid person, who face the world together, with no chinks in the armor.

I was lucky to grow up knowing that this was not the case, to understand that true love is treating a person with kindness and respect, and allowing for thier differences and mistakes in a kind and gentle manner. I think I am also fortunate to marry a man who feels, and more importantly DOES, the same.

I also know that relationships between people can change in an instant. Im all for trying to work things out, if both parties are willing. But once gone, Im not the one to stick around, waiting for 'what we had'. Im moving on, life is too short. 

Once you've lost trust in someone, there really isn't much else you can gain in benefit from them.

But I've been running around all day as usual, and so dont have time.

But I got some time to catch up on other peoples blogs. Blogs- gotta love them!! they are so addicting, and yet relaxing in their own way.

Wow my mind is all over the place today, so I'll be separating this post into relevant parts...

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Ok so I would love to do this blog on saving money - I was thinking for it to have an emphasis on things we are already doing/things that we hear about that stand a good chance of working that we are actually can try. I was thinking, anything related, I plus whoever else, could post on it, to explain how its working, the ups and downs, and whether it works or not.

For example, someone intending to post on the many uses of vinegar could post on a new way he or she used it, and give us an idea of how well it works without us having to try it ourselves. Let me know what you guys think..... the main component of this would be to have a blog that many people could post to somehow? im not sure if this is possible.....

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It is 7:05am, and NONE of the kids are up yet!! This is so unusual, guess I've got a couple minutes to post. Their breakfast is on the way to being made, and Musalih's already left the house. Im so ahead of schedule, I cant believe it! The laundry is already being done, I finished the major loads, I've just got one or two more to fold and put away later. And the house is fairly clean too, about as clean as it gets with 2 1/2 toddlers in it all day.

Once breakfast is done, I will probably package up some Ebay packages and head out, at least to the post office to mail off. As you know with Ebay, people pay you a head of time for your goods, but I NEVER count the money as mine until the package is mailed off on my end. Thats because you never know what can happen to a package before you mail it out. Once you mail it, its usually insured, but before that.....

oh, I hear the patter of little feet upstairs, so my lucky break is coming to an end. Inshallah I can stay ahead of the game for the rest of the day!

1) Most of the times I prefer to sleep with a pillow over my head. Its just more comfortable that way. Though I've stopped doing it so much so I can hear the kids if they wake up.

2)I have a favorite blanket that I prefer to sleep with. ALMOST a Linus-blanket. (Shoot, I did suck my thumb too, when I was young) The old blanket was actually a bedspread that belonged to my grandmother. I'd used it every night for at least 5 years. (Of course I washed it! Not that that helped in the durability factor) It got so ratty that my husband finally made me throw it away. After which I promptly went to the thrift store to pick out another. Strangely enough, this new  one is nothing like the old, this is a knitted afghan-ish contraption the likes of which your grandmother might have made back in the 70's. But its easily transportable, and it keeps me warm, which is really all I need.

3)I am a cheapskate to the point of checking the house every month or two to make sure nothing is sitting around that we dont need that can be sold on Ebay for profit. (Ya, I know, frugality is a sickness with me)

4) For the longest time, especially when I was younger, I thought that if you just imagined all the possible scenarios of what could go wrong with a particular situation, that imagining/remembering them would prevent them from actually happening. So like for instance, if you had a trip planned, if you could envision all the things that would happen to keep you from going on the trip, that none of those things would happen and the trip would be drama-free. To this day I struggle with that - if Im not careful, ill find myself trying to think up all kinds of scenarios for a given situation, forgetting that just because you think them up ahead of time doesnt mean they wont happen!

5) I've never had a nightmare in my life. While I've had dreams that are disturbing (especially of late, I think Im worrying too much about life in general), I've yet to be be frightened beyond a calm, rational state. When I was young I read somewhere that you have the ability to control what happens in your dreams. I thing I wholeheartedly accepted that and determined to make it true, because I find that anytime I am dreaming of something bad about to happen, no matter the situation, I'm always able to deflect it from turning into something truly horrifying. And when I wake from a dream that did not have a particularly good ending but that was vivid enough to affect my waking mood, I used to take time, even before I was fully awake, and determing a better ending/continuation for the dream, one less stressful and easier to live with.

6)I love diet soda! I drink it regularly, but name brands only (Coke, Sprite, Pepsi, etc.) I know some people say it has an aftertaste but I certainly dont taste it, and I actually like the watered-down flavor of diet.

There ya go for those expecting it and you better believe I aint taggin NOBODY, HA!!!

But thats just how it is.

Im up tonight - I think I may have finally found a way to get some 'regroup time/me time' into my daily schedule. Unfortunately it means being up at ungodly hours of the night, ie as you can see...less sleep for me. But it can be worth it, to get on top of things instead of letting things just run you over.

Im in the process right now of organizing my bookmarked websites.

Random comment #1 - Any one see Wife Swap tonight? I end up seeing a lot of primetime TV because its the kids bedtime and I can do nothing else while waiting for them to fall asleep. In anycase, for those of you who saw it, why did I feel like I could relate better to the African American family, and some of the sisters who have been writing about their polygynous experiences, could relate better to the Florida wife? Maybe becuase her husband gave off that 'could care less' air? Or maybe its the socio-economic difference. Somehow I feel like they are closer to Florida wifeys category....

Random comment #2 - Im SO tempted to switch over to blogger. I think I even have a page over there already, might just go back. I'll probably do it, after thinking about it a bit more.  EDIT: Nah, too much work.

Random comment #3 - All you new Stay at Home Moms, word of advice - watch that you dont get addicted to all the wonderful information and entertainment a computer can provide at any time of the day or night. Im just now realizing that I am computer-addicted! Just like a junkie, I need my daily fix of Google, or Blogs, or Ebay, or SOMETHING. Its easy to get addicted when you start out with one infant who has to nurse every three hours - thats how it got me, I figured 'I'll just go look up a couple of things while the baby nurses'.

Well the end result is HAVING To Have Computer Time at 2:31am when you know the kids and hubby will be up at six and you will not see sleep again until 11pm the next day....sigh, lol

Random comment #4 - Ran into a blog where the sister was talking about her son having night terrors -

Mashallah I SOOOOO have to thank Allah for the ease he has given me with regard to my kids and bedtime. My kids are So good about it its positively uncanny.

One reason why might be becuase I dont plan any naptime? If someone happens to fall asleep in the morning or afternoon, I wont wake them, but I dont make them go to sleep at a specific time - except for bedtime.

Well, Siraj will actually PUT HIMSELF to bed when the time comes. On more than occasion, I have been doing something, listening to them play out of the corner of my ear, when I notice the lack of noise from Siraj, only to go find him soundly sleeping in HIS BED, with the covers tucked around him all nice and tight.

Just today I made the mistake of diagnosing his crankiness around 6pm with the fact that he hadn't taken a nap, and I said in passing to him, mostly to get his mind off his crying, 'Is it time to go to sleep(ies)?' (I call it 'sleepies' - long story. It one of only 2 non-words I use with them.) That boy felt that that was a Very Good suggestion, and decided to go get in bed, even with the lights on and 2 other children playing around him, and try to go to sleep.

Only. Its only 6pm!

Now I may let my kids 'free-sleep', but Im no idiot - a kid that goes to sleep at 6pm is either going to get up at 9pm with energy to stay up the ENTIRE night, or they will stay asleep till the much-too-early hour of 4 in the morning, and expect to get up and start playing, like the toy room is open for business at that hour.

Um, NO.....so I had to spend the next half hour trying to distract him from the idea of going to sleep. Alhamdulillah it did work,  though it wasnt easy - I tickled him to death, sang Disney songs loudly right up in his face, and finally, let him get on our bed in our room and use it as a trampoline. You can bet both he AND Salih loved THAT.

Im just loving the end result - me, sitting here now, blogging in peace. Ahhhhhhh.

3:30AM again.

This time I fell into a coma earlier, and woke up about twoish becuase of the babies. Doing more blog organizing/Ebaying (When I have items for sale, its like picking a scab - I have to go back and check on the items every couple of hourse. I KNOW people dont purchase till the last minute but still I just have to check)

So feel free to hit me up on IM if you feel like it.

Does anybody still use NASEEB?! Every so often I get a random email telling me I have a message. Its usually some dude new to Washington DC trying to hook up. I'd like to delete myself, but I have no idea how to do it.

This is Orange Blossom. She was the ONLY doll I ever owned as a child. We used to call them Big Head/Small Body Dolls, for obvious reasons. I SOOOOO wish my parents had kept our old toys, shes worth soooo much money now.

Ran across an Ebay auction of her - seeing this picture took me BACK!

What HAS the world come to, LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5Uzc_G542E&NR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udCwgF9IYRo

Bro, I gots ONE question....where did the BENZO come from??!?!?